Today has felt like a long day. I just put Mason down for the night and now I am going to enjoy a little bit of Mommy time before I go to bed. I've been noticing that all the stores are playing Christmas music. I have such mixed feelings about this Christmas. it will be bittersweet. my grandpa passed away on june 9th. anyone that knew him was truely blessed. he and my grandma were married for 63 yrs. i will definately be thinking of him during the holidays. we are trying to make new family traditions this year since grandpa is gone. at the same time i am excited b/cuz it is Mason's first thanksgiving and christmas. i want to enjoy it.
i spent some time yesterday with my grandma. she lives 1 1/2 hrs away. it feels so strange to be with her and grandpa not be there. it feels weird to go to grandma's house and there sits grandpas chair- empty. over the last few years, as grandpa would face various medical issues, he always promised me that he was going to hang around to see his great grandchildren. last mid december i found out i was pregnant with mason. we told our family at christmas. this past june grandpa faced some major medical issues. he was on complete life support and after many many hours of surgery to try to fix him- he just wasn't going to improve. we had to make the decision to stop his life support. he passed immediately. the last thing he tried to tell us- as he barely hung on- was i love you. i was 6 mo pregnant. he missed his first great grandchild by 2 mo. i have spent every christmas of my entire life with my grandpa and like many other things- there will be a hole in christmas this year. i dont mean to sound so depressing. its just that every christmas song i have heard so far has sparked a memory of my grandpa. i miss him with every fiber of my being. he was such a loving man that did right by everyone. he was truely an angel on earth.
1 comment:
You seriously made me cry - at work - not like that's anything unusual. (kidding. kinda.) I remember how hard this was on you and have been thinking about him and some others lately. You need to focus on making Christmas as magical as you can for Mason and as he gets older, you need to make sure he "knows" his great grandpa (as I am sure he is watching over both of you) You have a great and stupportive family. You are truely blessed and I am blessed to have a friend like you. I must go fix my eyeliner now. I love you TONS!
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