mr. & mrs. crazy (my lovely in-laws)

last night i was blessed with a visit from my mother-in-law and her mean, grumpy, ignorant, husband who is 20 yrs older than her. this is mil's 5th marriage.
a few months ago, my husbands sister had a big surgery and was laid up at mil's house for a week. so for my sis-in-laws bday (while she was still recooperating) we had a get together at mil's house. i made a fabulous paula deen cake and took it over for a bday cake. well everyone was stuffed and there was a lot of cake left. so i told mil to finish off the cake (since sis in law and 5 yr old nephew had been staying there) and i would get the pan from her later. well i never got my pan back. it's just a metal cake pan with a tephalon coating. so mil showed up at our house for tgiving and made homemade mac n' cheese and brought it in my cake pan. she left the pan at my house on tgiving. so i washed the pan and put it away. then she comes over last night and says "oh i need to get my pan back." i froze and im sure the look on my face was priceless. i didnt want to start an argument b/cuz:
#1. big bad grumpy husband would have chimed in with his unrequested angry 2 sense.
#2. big country and i have had many arguments over the behavior of his mother (even though we both know she is crazy)
so... just to go with the flow and keep everything civil, i didn't say anything back to her. in the meantime, we eat dinner and they are getting ready to leave (thank you Lord). mil tells mason that he needs a sister. i said he has a sister (my 15 yr old step daughter)... and then we talk about that. then mil tells my husband that i need to get pregnant and have a girl and give it to her to raise. first of all, hello. i am right here. i just had Mirena put in a couple months ago - for a reason. i don't know if we want more kids or now, but that's not the point. so, anyway, mil and grumpy ass are getting ready to leave (thank you God) and she says "oh, i need to get my pan back." doooooa! so i officially surrendered MY metal, tephlon coated cake pan to my mil who claims its hers. let me also mention that she has dooped me for my crockpot when she claimed she couldn't find mine so she gave me her shitty one. my cobalt blue pyrex pie pan and casserole dish- gone. i finally had to say something to big country last night. he said we'll go to her house when she's not home and get our stuff back. so that's what we'll do and no one will say anything to mil.
every mannerism or attribute that mason has is not because of big country. this is getting old. according to her, EVERYTHING mason does is b/cuz big country supposedly did it. the sad thing is that no one knows what big country really did b/cuz she lies about EVERYTHING. for example, thurs. after mason's 4 mo check up mil called to see how the appt was. i told her that he got two shots and turned red and cried but quickly calmed down. she says "he's just like his dad. he doesn't like shots." ok, big country is petrified of needles. needles and snakes are his phobias. here are my issues with that:
#1. i have never seen a 4 mo that didn't cry from getting a shot
#2. mason is too young to know what a shot is or that it hurts
#3. 4 mo olds don't have phobias
#4. that doesn't make him like his dad.
it is possible that some of mason's attributes might be from ME. ya know, i am his mom so it is possible. i'm not trying to be petty here but if you could hear the number of times she says mason is like big country- for every single thing he does- you would think it's annoying too. mason fights sleep. my mom told me that i was the ultimate champion at it and she used to have to hold my head down to her shoulder when she'd rock me. nope- he fights sleep cuz big country did that too. uggggggggggggggh! she irritates the shit outta me!

On a happier note, here's a funny movie clip!